The summer slowly wore on. I still had a connection with Dec, and it was comforting to sense him every night. However, I was beginning to worry. It had been a month since he’d left, and I didn’t want to face the oncoming winter without him. There were preparations to be made, and the only time to do them was in the summertime. We’d always worked like oxen during the long summer days. I did my best, and some of our friends from town sometimes came out and helped, too, but it didn’t feel as if I was making much headway in my preparations.
The wolves hadn’t shown up again, but I’d had a problem with some varmint getting at the chickens and had lost several hens to it. This further reduced my confidence since I was working as hard as possible to ward the place, but it seemed to be losing effect. I just wasn’t as good at it as Dec was, and without his help, I was losing what ability I had.
Late one afternoon, I was splitting some wood for the stove and decided to tackle a large stump with twisted grain. We’d pulled the thing out of the creek last summer, and it’d been sitting around waiting for Dec to get to it. For some reason, I decided that I’d take out my frustrations on the chunk, and I started in with the ax. I’d gotten the ax buried in the end, but the grain was so tight that I couldn’t work it out again. After wiping my forehead, I got the wedge and the sledgehammer and carefully started the wedge in the split caused by the ax. I figured I could tap it in, and that would release the ax. After that, I wasn’t sure if I’d continue with the stump or pick out some easier wood to split.
Anyway, the wedge got stuck too. I banged it with the sledgehammer as best I could and ended up burying it in the wood to the point where there was nothing to even hit with the hammer. The ax was still stuck, so I pounded on it a bit and only succeeded in driving it deeper. The whole thing was frustrating, and I couldn’t see how I would get enough pieces of wood to cook supper. I dropped the hammer and stepped back, wiping my forehead. Hearing a noise, I looked up and saw William coming across the creek. He rode up to me and shook his head at my predicament.
“Elizabeth, you’ve just got everything stuck, and you’re going to need some help,” he said as he dismounted. He took the sledgehammer from the ground at my side and swung at the ax head in such a way that it instantly tilted over. Another swing, and the ax was free. Then he carefully used the ax as a wedge, tapping it into the log with the hammer until there was a loud “Crack” and the grain suddenly released. The wedge came out, and with a few hard swings of the ax, the stump split in half.
“There! That’s how you do it,” William said kindly, handing the ax back to me.
“Thank you! I wasn’t sure if I was going to have a warm supper tonight or not,” I exaggerated.
“Why don’t you get your stove going and let me chop some more kindling for you before I leave?”
“That’s very nice of you, William. I’d appreciate that.” What else could I say?
I went in and started the stove, shooing Michael up to the loft to play with some of his toys and stay out of my way while I started supper. As I did, it occurred to me that I should ask William if I could fix supper for him.
He readily assented when I asked, stating that he was actually quite hungry, not having eaten since dawn. It took me about an hour, and he chopped wood steadily all of the while. When I finally had the food on the table, he was standing in front of a huge pile of kindling, easily enough for a couple of weeks.
“Wow! I’d forgotten what a man can get done!” I exclaimed.
“It was my pleasure,” he said with a smile.
He washed up, and we sat in the kitchen and had a nice meal. Michael was on his best behavior, looking out the corners of his eyes at the unusual spectacle of a man in our kitchen. Once the meal was over, William hung around while I got Michael in bed. Then he sat beside the boy and told him a long, involved story about catching some fish in Grand Lake. Michael listened carefully and finally dropped off to sleep.
“Well, Elizabeth, I’d best be getting on. I aim to ride into town and stay at the hotel for the night,” he said as he stretched and stepped towards the door.
“I’m sorry, we don’t have any available guest quarters, Mr. Smith,” I answered. “The best I can offer you is the hay mow.” We had a guest room, but it was currently used for storage and sewing projects.
“No. That’s quite alright. It’s not too far into town, and I’ll be more comfortable there. And, you know you can call me William, Elizabeth.” He met my gaze, and I could see that his eyes were warm and sympathetic. “Are you still doing OK out here by yourself?”
“Well, yes, but it does get lonely sometimes with just the two of us,” I answered. I don’t know why I encouraged him. It was mostly because I was lonely. He was gentlemen enough not to think it was some kind of invitation, though.
“I’ll stop by in a few days to check on you. Maybe you’ll let me take Michael fishing. He seemed to like the story I told him.”
“That might be nice,” I said, ushering him out the door. After a bit, I could hear his horse clop off towards the stream. That was followed by the sound of the water splashing around the horse’s hooves as they crossed on the way into town.
It was a long night, and it wasn’t helped by the fact that I couldn’t seem to sense Dec except for a little bit as it got near dawn, and when I did finally start to feel his presence, it was as if he were very far away.
It so happened that I needed to go into town a couple of days later. Michael had been playing in the cabin and had swung a stick that he’d adopted as a sword and broken one of our lanterns. These were oil lamps, and he knocked the chimney off the one that was sitting on the table. He was sorry, and I wasn’t very upset. After all, boys will be boys. After discussing why we shouldn’t play with sticks inside, which he attended to carefully with his eyes suitably wide, we headed for town to see if a replacement might be available somewhere. It was by no means a guaranteed thing that another lamp would be available. Supplies were very sparse. However, this was Saturday, and some of the townspeople had taken to having a combination get-together and flea market on Saturday afternoons. I suspected that the social aspect was more important to most of them than the financial part.
Once we got there, I talked to a couple of the ladies and tried to control Michael. He was excited and wanted to get into everything. I didn’t want him running off or breaking anything else, so I tried to hold his hand, much to his distress. Suddenly, a shadow appeared at my side, and I turned to see William standing close.
“Elizabeth, it looks like you’ve got your hands full there,” he chuckled as he spoke, indicating that he understood how much of a handful a four-year-old could be. “Why don’t you let me take the boy over to the lake and see if we can catch a fish?”
I was tired of the fight and wanted to have a sensible conversation with some other adults, so I agreed, “If you’re sure that it’d be no trouble for you?”
“Not at all! I know just how to keep him interested for a while. If you get done before we return, I’ll have him over by the town dock.” The two of them walked off hand in hand, Michael looking up at William with admiration in his eyes.
Nellie waited until they were out of hearing and then exclaimed, “I never thought that man would do something like that!”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well...,” she hesitated, drew a breath, and then decided to continue. “He – I mean, I’ve heard that he is kind of wild, if you know what I mean?”
“No, I don’t. He’s stopped by and helped me a few times. He’s always been friendly and showed me every sign that he was trustworthy.”
The two ladies looked at each other with a sort of knowing glance.
“What is it?” Now, they had made me curious. Whatever it was, I didn’t think that it could be too bad.
“Let’s just say he’s been playing the field with the single women in town,” replied Maria. “Some of the girls have been competing for his attention, but I’ve heard that he seems to have taken himself off the market recently. It really disappointed a lot of them. A couple were convinced that he was close to proposing,” she drew a breath and continued, “but I don’t think that was really a possibility. My opinion is that he’s probably got his eye on some female somewhere, and they’re just out of luck.”
“Yeah,” interjected Nellie. “Maybe you’d better watch out. You might not realize it, but there’s been some talk about you, what with your husband gone missing and all.”
I didn’t like that one bit! “No, that’s not something I want to even discuss. I happen to know that Declan is fine.” I was exaggerating a little, but I hoped I wasn’t deceiving myself, just to feel better and keep my spirits up.
Nellie smiled sympathetically, “Anyway, you should probably see about getting some other men to stop by and help you a little bit more. That would put a stop to some of the gossip.”
Now it was gossip! I tried to reassure myself that it was just a small-town sort of thing. I responded, “I’m not a widow and won’t be! Dec knows exactly how to take care of himself, and I’m confident that it won’t be long before he’s back.”
“Nevertheless, I’ll send Jim out to cut some wood for you sometime this next week,” she answered.
I drew a deep breath. “Thank you, Nellie! That would be very appreciated.” I was going to say something else, but I happened to glance at a table with some miscellaneous junk just a few yards away. There was a perfectly fine lamp chimney sitting there, and it looked like it might be exactly the right size. “Please excuse me. There’s something over there I might want to buy.”
It was the work of only a couple of minutes to get the chimney. It had a small chip on the top edge, and I used that to work the price down a bit. Having finished my business, I waved to the ladies and set out for the lake. As I rounded a building, I saw the two of them sitting side-by-side on the end of the dock. Michael turned as he heard my steps on the wood, jumped up, and came running, screaming excitedly about the fish he’d caught and how big it was. William followed up with a couple of smaller trout on a stringer.
“...And I’m going to eat it for supper!” my son yelled, pointing at the stringer.
“I guess I’ll just have to plan on cooking fish, then,” I smiled down at him. William came up, and I paused momentarily, thinking about the ladies’ warning. “Thank you, William! It was really nice of you to keep him interested while I got some things done.”
“No problem!” he responded, “I’ll be happy to take care of him anytime you need help. We’re best buddies!”
“We sure are!” enthused Michael.
“I’ve got to get back to the house.” I decided I’d better go before giving people any additional grounds for gossip. “Thanks again, William.”
Michael, of course, wasn’t ready to let it go at that, “Mommy, can William come for supper? Please?”
Now, I had to come up with something, and I opted for a tried and true excuse used by women throughout time. “No, Honey, Mommy’s got a headache and doesn’t feel like having company.” William looked concerned, but I just waved at him, and we headed for the horses. I took a deep breath and decided that maybe he was just being friendly and helpful, but an undercurrent of instinct or feminine intuition told me that it might also be more than that. It was flattering in a way. Here, all of the younger girls wanted the guy, and I had to admit that it was true; he’d been paying a lot of attention to me. For about the ten-thousandth time, I wished Dec would come riding over the hill.
I dreamed about Dec that night. He was close to me in bed, and although I knew it was a dream, it seemed as if he was hovering over me, supported by his arms. I was breathing rapidly and moved my legs in anticipation and excitement. It had been so long. He began to lower himself down onto me, and I felt a warm flush of readiness. Just as he was getting closer, his face blurred and slowly faded out in the manner of dreams. I tried repeatedly to get him to come back, but it wouldn’t work. I was simultaneously aroused and disappointed. No matter what I did in my dream, he wouldn’t return.
Finally, I saw a figure approaching me as though through a fog. I breathed a deep sigh of relief and thought, “It’s about time!” It got closer and closer, and then a face appeared. I thought it was Dec’s, but then it morphed into William’s, and the shock startled me wide awake. I had no interest in him! Why had his face appeared? I was, to put it mildly, horrified.
I sat up, still breathing rapidly, my heart pounding so hard that I had to put my hand on my breast to try and slow it. I realized that I was still aroused, and a surge of anger at Dec came over me. How could he go off and leave me – us alone?
The next instant, I realized how wrong that anger was, and I felt equally guilty. Dec was everything I’d ever wanted in a husband: strong, capable, incredibly loving, and devoted. It was very confusing, and my mind was in turmoil. It took until nearly dawn before I could go back to sleep. Even then, it wasn’t restful. I tossed and turned and kicked the bed covers into a knot. I was so twitchy that Jefferson finally jumped off the bed, something he usually was reluctant to do.
When I finally awoke, it was past time to get up, but I’d come to a conclusion and had resolved to try and discourage William from coming by again. I knew one thing for sure: my resolution would meet with the full approval and approbation of Jefferson. He’d never taken to the man. The cat usually disappeared before he reached the house, only showing up after he’d left. I wondered if maybe our cat knew or sensed something that I couldn’t. Just as I’d learned to rely on his alien-sensing ability, perhaps I’d better take a cue from him and avoid William.
But, the facts remained the same. I was a woman, isolated from my nearest friends by a few miles, and the world was far more dangerous than it had been only a few years before. I had to try and protect my son and our homestead from predators of both the four-legged and two-legged variety. As I thought about it, I realized that for the first time in a long, long time, perhaps since I’d become an adult, I was fearful and not at all sure I could cope. I missed my husband terribly, and in addition, I was so lonely.
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